What is this all about? Recommended reading: Spiritual Trauma Healing; It’s Time
Warning: These sessions can involve recalling and describing memories that include abuse and violence. You may hear me vocalizing fear, pain, anger, sadness, rage, and more in the session recordings. If you specifically wish to avoid being exposed to such material please do not proceed.
This was a bit of a last-minute session; I hadn’t planned on doing it in advance. In fact, I was going to go roller skating.
But the whole day had been stressful and tiring in an odd sort of way. I laid down and napped for a few hours. When I woke up I felt this urgency that I needed to do a session; and I’m glad I did.
As I started preparing everything I could feel my body trying hard to kick off a cataplexy episode((Related to narcolepsy, cataplexy is typically stress or trauma induced. You lose control of the muscles in your body while remaining conscious, eventually unable to move until the episode dissipates.)). I used to get these regularly in my teens when I was overwhelmed with what was happening to me, and at the peak of my Mercury poisoning it returned.
Barely able to see what I was doing, arms flailing around as I was slowly losing my ability to remain upright, I felt like it was a race against the clock to get settled in before my whole body gave in.
I don’t feel panicked when this happens anymore, but it is frustrating.
The session lasted just over 3.5 hours, and I was genuinely surprised at all of the trauma memories I worked through.
I decided to record my sessions, initially for my own reference after the fact. Because they are long, I would often forget details, or not even be aware of some of what I experienced at all. Some pieces are very concrete in my mind after, and others are like the ether of a dream.
Later, when playing the session back I realized this might actually be helpful for others who have trauma healing to do. I wish I had been exposed earlier on so I could have started the process sooner, but maybe this is the perfect timing still.
I orate throughout the sessions, so it’s pretty easy to follow along with what it is I’m experiencing. My spirit guides cheer me on a lot throughout and in general it is a very positive experience.
I’ve broken the full session up into 7 more-digestible videos. Some of the memories processed in each one:
- Part 1 – Being strangled by my ex-husband.
- Part 2 – Sleeping in a closet in my parents bedroom as a child, wanting to be a Playboy model when I was 5 years old, and reassurance by my spirit guides that I’m welcome to visit anytime.
- Part 3 – Being assaulted by an ex-boyfriend in my car, and being attacked with a knife by one of my sisters as a child.
- Part 4 – Interpreting previous Ayahuasca ceremony visions, and almost being murdered in my early 20’s.
- Part 5 – Emotions towards my mother, storing memories in my physical body, mention of the black box.
- Part 6 – Gratitude towards my spirit guides, and talking about my breast implant surgery.
- Part 7 – Being groomed by the ex-fiancé of one of my sisters as a child, being assaulted at work then threatened/stalked by a coworker, my spirit guides tell me they broke my neck to save me, and another brief mention of the black box.
