Starting Over: The Story of My Life

I’ve been trying to setup an email newsletter for a full week; I keep thinking it shouldn’t be this hard((I literally work for an email marketing company and it’s still the most egregious life task.)).

Then I wonder if it’s even worth bothering with because maybe these roadblocks are a sign from the Universe.

My mother always praised me growing up, told me I could do anything and be anyone. The problem with unlimited potential is you never really figure out what that one thing is you want to become.

I’m getting over summer bronchitis and the frustration of being winded doing nothing and wishing for just 24 hours more sleep has me remembering how good I am at starting over; even if I dislike it.

Starting over with a new career, new education, new home, new life.

I’d really love to move on and build depth in my life.

Being under the weather gives me too much time courting predeterminism((

Predeterminism is the philosophy that all events of history, past, present and future, have been already decided or are already known (by God, fate, or some other force), including human actions.

)) and accepting I’ll never escape this bouncy house.

Surprisingly, for all the time spent spinning my wheels I’ve still managed accomplishments.

Written a few things down((

THE BUOY

I knew as soon as I saw it that I needed to be overcome by it. 
That little red ball floating on silver wisps of water.
The simple solution to so much.

My Dearest Diana,

I know that you of all people will understand this newfound compulsion I have. I spied a red buoy on the water while walking the coast today and I can't seem to scrub it from my mind.

6 years I've been walking at shoreline and 6 years I never saw it. But it's always been there; floating and swaying and waiting for me to notice it.

In just 3 seconds flat I've resolved to overcoming my negligent fear of water. Resolved to swim out and touch that floating promise with my own hands.

Maybe then you'll reconsider your abashed feelings towards me.

Your Fool,
Rebecca

)).
Drew a thing or two((

)).
Recorded a video here and there((I’m 5 days in to eating 100lbs of raw ground beef.)).
Forced myself into the gym((

Follow my workouts with the HEVY app.

)).
Marked items complete from both columns of the list((I like to organize todo lists based on complexity. One column for big tasks that are going to take a lot of time or involve multiple factors, and the other column for quick simple tasks.)).

My brain is coming back to life as the heat wave has died and I think, “just keep doing things for you.”

That’s all we really can do.