I’m Mad.

I’ve just fucked someone else.

I’m in the wrong, betrayed the betrayer.

But all I want is for him to fuck me right now.
Destroy, distract me.

Anything is better than feeling these feelings
all consuming.

Sitting in his Jeep. He’s hurt, genuinely.

And I’ve gone mad.

Climbing over the console, straddle his lap. 
Face between my hands, beg him to look at me. Look me in the eyes.

Please.

And when he does what I see there isn’t what I wanted. He’s gone. 
This love is non-existent.

I’ve fucked it all away. Set fire to the building not realizing he was still inside waiting for me.

Refused to show my hurt, hurting him instead.