Soft fast rain hitting the roof. Man, makes it sound like the fan is running on 10. (It's not, I double-triple checked again). Why would a mother gaslight her children?
I’ve thought about this a lot in my life.
Tried so hard to reason and understand what would drive my mother to knowingly deceive me. To try convincing me that my memory was false.
“I never knew anything about that…” when she walked in on me multiple times being molested by family members.
“You weren’t that young when…” she pushed me to flirt with an adult man, the son of one of her childhood friends. Telling me he’d commit suicide if I don’t write to and visit him in prison.
Was it intentional? She has a mouth full of broken, leaking Mercury fillings. Maybe she’s gone mad as a hatter and that’s been it all along. Maybe this, maybe that. I doubt I’ll ever figure it out.
I want to love her, but I no longer can.